Tags
Once again, as every year, culture shock has blind-sided me. Yes, it is gorgeous here (see above) and yes, it is warm (even hot) and dry. But it’s not Italy, is it? Sounds so obvious, but somehow it takes me aback annually. In fairness, I have to say that there will be a repeat of culture shock, in reverse, when we return to Rapallo in April or May.
But just what is the shock? Size is one thing – everything is so darn big here. When it comes to living quarters, I like that. When it comes to servings when eating out I don’t. Cars? no. Sense of humor? yes. Noise is another thing: there are non-stop sounds in Rapallo; scooters dash up and down the mountain, dogs bark non-stop, the rooster who can’t tell time crows his ignorance, diners clink their cutlery against their plates at Rosa’s and even, if they’ve had enough, break into song or begin to cheer loudly. Over at Case di Noe someone has fired up a brush-cutter, and every half hour the church bells remind us what time it is. (Speedy has addressed this part of the problem by down-loading chimes to sound the hours on the computer – not the same as the jazzy bell concert San Maurizio gives us each Sunday, but better than nothing.)
There are plenty of noisy places in the U.S., but we don’t happen to be in one of them. Our neighborhood has forty homes, of which probably one-third are occupied now, it being still early in ‘the season.’ The family with small children who lived across the street have moved – how we miss their constant activity and cheerful little voices. If we listen carefully we can hear the hum of traffic from the highway that’s about a mile away. When the birds visit our feeders they are likely to squabble. The humming birds sound like teeny little power saws when they zoom in and out. But mostly it’s just very quiet and peaceful. That’s nice, it really is, it’s just such a change.
The biggest change, though, and the hardest to adapt to, is the societal difference. Italians are out and about for a good part of the day. One must shop daily, the passagiata awaits at the end of the day. There are friends and family to visit and ‘news’ to be discussed endlessly. The silence in our neighborhood is but a reflection of a larger silence that I think of as particularly American. People are afraid to discuss ‘issues’ for fear that they will offend or anger the person to whom they’re speaking. Somehow Italians have found a way to express differences without letting it get personal, and without letting it get in the way of friendships. Here people are afraid to make eye contact with strangers, unlikely to greet strangers on the street (any one of whom may be carrying a weapon, concealed or otherwise, at least here in the wild west), and uncomfortable with the idea of discomfort.
Of course Italy is far from perfect. But part of culture shock, I think, is the tendency to idealize the place one has left, to look back through the fuzzy lens of rosy glasses, while looking at present circumstances with the critical lens of a microscope.
I’m not asking for sympathy, believe me. We are terribly fortunate to be able to enjoy life in two such diverse places, and yes, we are Thankful that we are able to (’tis the season). I’m just saying that the transition is, for me at any rate, difficult, but difficult in an interesting way, not a painful way. So please, stick with me for a while? Pretty soon I’ll have my feet under me again and will share some more of the excitement of life in a most peculiar state.

I’m not quite sure that I could ever get used to or welcome living in a place with the kind of daily noise that you have as part of life in Italy. I do love my silence, and the choice to fill that silence with sounds of my choice or those of nature around me.
I’m not sure about Americans being incapable of civilized discussions or fearful of starting a fistfight over a tender topic and thus avoiding one another. Personally, I’m more afraid of getting stuck in discussions about people I don’t know and situations or things that don’t bear thinking twice about with people who don’t truly know how to converse. It’s undeniable that Americans have become a people who relate to one another via e-communications with their relative ease. You can be wearing your pajamas and not have combed your hair and do all your communicating from home should you want – never mind having to get dressed up enough to pass public scrutiny.
Just a few thoughts that you provoked. So happy to have you back!
I’ve just found this post -I’m more of an occasional internet surfer so it’s rare that I can respond to much straight away, but this blog is sooo true. I lived in Marina Di Bardi, Rapallo for 2 years between 1979 and 1981 / 82 (ish). It’s still the best time of my life and the one I look back on with fondest of memories. My Italian experience has always left me feeling out of place in the UK as the culture is so different – lacking almost in the UK as, like you say, people don’t interract in the same way. I was only 9 when I lived in Rapallo and went to school at the Orsolini. Those memories are the best and I still crave the ‘European’ way of life. Still wanting to go back….
Oh Claire, it’s not far… Rapallo is waiting for you! But you may find it has changed a bit since the 80’s – we’ve seen a lot of changes just in the last decade. Do you still remember and speak the Italian you must have learned as a child?
I’ve been back twice on very short visits, once in late 80’s and again in 2009 for my honeymoon! I met a friend who I hadn’t seen for 30 years and who used to babysit for me and my brother – it was amazing. I am trying to find a way to bring my 2 daughters to Rapallo to show them where I lived and went to school but it’s quite an expensive trip for 4, especially with things the way they are in the Uk and Europe at the moment. I’m determined to make it happen at some point in the not too distant future though.
I can understand Italian when I read it or hear it (if spoken slowly!) but I went on to study Spanish and French at school. We have a cottage in France (husband’s mums) which we go to each summer and my brother lives in Lanzarote now, so i get to practice both French and Spanish on occasions but rarely Italian. However, when we went back in 2009 I was relieved to know that it came back gradually – a bit like riding a bike! The visits have been fantastic but I seem to want to be there on a daily basis, like we said before – it’s the culture.
I know exactly what you mean. I used to feel it just going between FL and Norfolk. It always takes awhile to adjust. Now I am living in a large apartment complex where no one makes eye contact except for dogs. I’ve been in the apartment for 3 months and I’m still not used to it. Oh well, and so it goes!
Well, you could start with the dogs, I suppose. Maybe some of the owners might take the hint. I’ve started just saying hello to people anyway – sometimes they look away embarrassed, but more often than not they respond with a surprised smile and say hello back.