Sculpture by Fernando Botero
Any of you out there NOT go on a diet every now and then? What is your ‘tipping point,’ that moment when needing to lose a few pounds outweighs the substantial joys of eating and drinking?
For me it’s my undies. When they’re too tight, I know something must be done. I turn a deaf ear when my outer clothes complain. I hear them saying, “Help us! We can’t stand the pressure! We’re going to explode!” and it affects me not one whit. But when my undies don’t fit, it just flat out makes me sad. And I know that the moment has arrived to log in to MyPlate and start counting calories. Bah.
That moment arrived last week, but I had to postpone the inevitable thanks to a houseguest who likes to eat and drink as much as we do; to be honest, I didn’t mind a bit. There was much tippling, much merriment, and way, way too much to eat.
Then a shocking thing happened: my car died, the car that has carried me faithfully wherever I wished to go for 17+ years. It was very upsetting. The repair bill would have been sizable, and the mechanic opined there would be more big repairs in the not-too-distant future, so… time for a new car.
Not my car, but the same color as mine and almost as much dust as mine usually wears. Photo courtesy of it.wikipedia.org.
Except, of course, we don’t buy new cars; we buy used cars, which, let me tell you, is a lot more work than strolling into a dealership and ordering up a brand new vehicle. No! This isn’t a digression – not this time. It has bearing on the subject at hand.
Wednesday, which was the day I meant to start my big fat diet, was our first day of car-hunting, and it involved eating out here:
Root beer stand in a previous life?
Speedy thought his burrito was just as good as the ones he gets at our favorite Mexican Food haunt, Los Favoritos. I had my usual as well, chiles rellenos – but they (there were two instead of my usual one) came with a huge side order of rice and an even huger side of refried beans, and lots and lots of soupy tomato sauce. I scarfed down both chiles and most of the beans. Speedy finished the beans and we brought home the rice for later use. If you find yourself on East Main Street in Mesa give this appealing dive a try; the food was good and the service prompt and charming. That was Day One of MBFD, right out the window.
I fared no better on Day Two, which was the day we narrowed our search down to two iterations of the same car. One was way up in north Phoenix, more than an hour’s drive away. The second was closer by in Mesa. We had lunch that day at a newish Thai place that we’ve been eyeing, not far from where we play golf. It goes by the entrancing name of 5 R Cha which, it turns out, means 5 horses in Thai. ( Have you noticed that there’s a definite Horsey theme to this non-diet so far?) Here’s my plate – another diet day down the tubes.
Reader, I ate it all.
Day Three of MBFD was hectic as we had to drive all the way back up to north Phoenix to buy the car we liked, a four-year-old Nissan Versa. While purchasing a car goes pretty smoothly and quickly here, it still takes several hours what with all the paper work that must be done. We had an important high-stakes golf game at 2 p.m., and didn’t have time for a sit-down lunch. Instead we got sandwiches at Sclotzsky’s. There are several of this chain around the Valley, and if you have never had one of their sandwiches, I recommend that you try one. Delicious! Perfectly toasted seedy bun holding turkey and perfectly ripe avocados: yum. But, washed down with a coke, hardly a dieter’s delight.
Day Four of MBFD was recovery from all the driving and stress of the past few days (yes, buying a used car is stressful, even if you have the good fortune to fall into the hands of an honest salesman at an honest dealership – thank you, Scott). What better way to get over battle fatigue than by eating an enormous Arizona steak, thick and juicy? And what better accompaniment for that steak than a 2-pound baked potato swimming in melted butter? I believe a small salad made an appearance as well.
So, today when I got on the scales for the first time in a couple of weeks I discovered why my undies were complaining. Between the bon vivant guest and car-shopping I managed to put on 5 pounds. Really. 5 R Bad. So today, in spite of baking both cookies and bread, I stuck to the MyPlate regimen. I’m hoping I lost all 5 pounds today so I can go back to my wicked ways tomorrow. But my undies say it isn’t so.
An Ex-Expatriate 
Ah Fern – let us thank our higher powers for tomorrows!
Amen!
I’m with Kate. Remove the offending article of clothing! I have had thoughts of MBFD dancing in my head for months and what I see in the mirror should spur me to address the issue, but for some reason Scarlett O’Hara’s “I’ll think about that tomorrow” approach seems to be the one I embrace. It’s so simple – eat less, move more. Now to find the magic that turns thoughts into actions… Great post, Fern!
Thanks, Hilary. I don’t know what’s harder, starting a diet or sticking to it once it’s begun. I think the former, because if you’re desperate enough to actually start, you’re probably smart enough to continue (or stubborn enough). My problem has been four days of company. But I hope to be back on the straight and narrow… tomorrow!
Good luck on the new meal plan! I think starting is most of the battle, so you are on your way to success. As for weight- all I know is the older one gets the less one needs to weigh to remain somewhat the same size – some reverse law of physics or gravity or something! Keep us all posted on how things are going. Diana
Good luck with the new regime 🙂
Thanks! Luck will be a large factor in the outcome…
Well, you had me laughing out loud. Like JoAnn my clothing doesn’t complain about pounds – but it’s beginning to complain about lowering mass. I need to be drawn, but not quartered. Yoga and stretching to the rescue!
How did you get this comment to look like it came from me? How curious! Yoga is good for everything, isn’t it? Mind, body – I try to do a little 20-minute regimen every a.m., and actually do it about twice a week.
I have been trying to start my MBFD since Christmas! And I use the same metric as you… the Underwear Metric System…. so when they don’t fit, which, currently, they don’t, I simply take them off.
What a bold and sassy lass you are! Surrendering to my undies would be even worse than a diet, though… You’ll start when you’re ready and not before.
All I know is that if my second home was anywhere near you, you would NEVER go on a diet! Mexican food, as you know, is lacking in this country and whenever I get back to the states (which is nowhere never enough), I want to pig out on anything that resembles mexican, from Taco Bell to the local nachos and beer joint. So help me Dio!
You would love it here – there’s a Mexican eatery on every block just about. We’ve begun to see some Mexican packaged foods and condiments in the Rapallo supermarkets; you would probably be able to do some magic with them. Have you seen them there?
I can totally relate to this…LOVE IT!!
Ah, my reedy friend, you haven’t a clue! You are tall, svelte and gorgeous – none of your clothing has the least cause for complaint. But thank you for the empathy. Day 2 of real MBFD successfully ‘under my belt.’